so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
