you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
