Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
