omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
