Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
