We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
