Its about making memories worth repressing
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
