Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
