That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
