Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
