Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
