Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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