Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
