remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize