ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
