Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
