I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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