I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
