Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize