Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
