She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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