Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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