id be glad to
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He did a backflip because drugs
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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