It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
