Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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