Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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