Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
