Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
