well I can't set my house on fire every night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
