I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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