You know, be my cock's hype man.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
