I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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