My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
