She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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