I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she pinky promised me she was 18
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
