I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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