I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
