that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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