he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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