sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
bring money and cleavage
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dicks are not precious.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
