I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
