is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
