I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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