he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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