do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
