woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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