They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
