remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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