She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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