After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
