the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
