Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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