gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your cock deserves a montage
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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