Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i now understand why vodka
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
