You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
