I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize