she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
