I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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