oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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